Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham) Read online

  Esther laughed. “Have you decided it’s a boy, then?”

  He shrugged. “I have no idea. I’d be happy with either one.”

  Thomas was struck by how pretty his wife was again. She’d gained back most of the weight she’d lost during her morning sickness phase and her cheeks were fuller. Everything was fuller. Her stomach was getting huge, but he didn’t dare comment on that.

  He rested his hand against her stomach for the first time, and she looked at him, wondering what he was doing. He moved his hand over the firm mound, surprised by how hard it was. “It feels odd.”

  She smiled and nodded. “Imagine how it feels when he starts moving in there.”

  His eyes grew wide and he looked at her. “That happens?”

  “All the time.”

  “Is it happening now?”

  She shook her head. “Not right this minute.” She was surprised by his interest. “Do you want me to let you know when it does happen?”

  He thought about that for a minute. “I don’t want you chasing me down on the farm to tell me, but if I’m home, yes. Would I be able to feel it from the outside?”

  “I think so. I haven’t tried. I feel it so strongly you’d have to be able to feel it.”

  He grinned looking down at her stomach and stroking it again. He really wanted to move her dress out of the way, so he could see her bare stomach and see what changes the child had wrought, but he didn’t feel he had a right to do that. Of course, if she removed her dress, he wouldn’t be as interested in the way the baby had changed her as he was in her body. He felt himself harden and moved her a little away from him so she wouldn’t feel it. He didn’t want her to feel obligated to have relations with him if she wasn’t interested.

  Esther felt the involuntary movement against her hip and turned to him startled. Did he want her after all? She leaned toward him and placed her lips against his, her tongue moving to trace his lips. If he rejected her, she knew it would devastate her, so she held her breath while she waited to see how he’d respond.

  His arms went fully around her and he deepened the kiss, his tongue moving inside her mouth to move with hers. He pulled her more fully against him, wishing they were upstairs instead of sitting at the kitchen table.

  She sank against his body, touching his shoulders and moving against him, getting as close as she could. She was startled when he stood and swept her into his arms carrying her up the stairs. Did this mean he was interested in her as a woman after all?

  When they reached their bedroom, Thomas set her on her feet. The room was already dark and he quickly unbuttoned her dress and pushed it down her body. He wasn’t going to give her the chance to change her mind.

  She stood still as he removed her dress and then her petticoats. His hands roamed all over her body in the darkness. When she felt his hand against her bare stomach, she was afraid he’d shy away, unwilling to be intimate with a woman who was so far along in her pregnancy, but he explored her all over.

  He pushed her back against the edge of the bed, and she fell backward onto it. He followed her down, pressing kisses to her neck and shoulders, his hands roaming up and down her body. She was finally willing to be touched by him and he wasn’t going to let her go.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him, her hands caressing the shoulders she’d just finished massaging. She wanted his clothes off, but was too worried he’d back away if she tried to remove them.

  After a minute he stood and quickly stripped in the darkness. The moon shone through the open window, and the gentle breeze cooled the room. Once he was completely naked, he dropped down beside her on the bed, kissing her frantically.

  Her hands went to his body as if of their own accord, stroking everything she could reach. She rubbed his bare back and his shoulders, moaning softly as his fingers caressed her tender breasts.

  He hoped she was ready, because he couldn’t hold out much longer against the onslaught of feelings rushing through him for his beautiful bride. He needed to be inside her. He carefully rolled atop her, afraid he would squash her, but not knowing of another way to accomplish what he wanted to do. “Is this okay?” he asked.

  “Oh, yes!” She spread her legs wide for him, loving the feel of him moving between them and positioning himself at her opening.

  He pressed carefully inside her, watching her face for any signs of discomfort. When he saw none, he began moving, quickly with strong, deep strokes. Her arms wrapped around him, caressing him from shoulders to buttocks as he moved within her.

  The guilt she’d felt as she’d lain beneath him the first time was completely gone, and she was able to fully enjoy her husband’s movements inside her. Within moments, she felt her body starting to build toward its peak, clenching around him. She let out a gasp of pleasure, clutching him to her.

  Thomas watched her face as she reached her pleasure, and it struck him that she was more beautiful in that moment than she had ever been to him. He quickened his pace and followed her just moments later, collapsing to her side, still worried he’d hurt the baby.

  He lay panting beside her, but pulled her into his arms to hold her tightly. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long.”

  She stared at him in disbelief. “I didn’t think you were interested anymore, or I’d have insisted!”

  “Are you serious? Of course I was interested!”

  She sputtered. “But…but…you didn’t want to until we talked to the doctor, and then when he said it was okay, you got into bed and fell asleep.” She leaned on her elbow as she argued with him.

  He sighed. “I know. And I felt like a heel for it. I wasn’t able to sleep all night the night before because I was worried about what the doctor would say, and then we drove all day, and then we had to deliver all of everyone’s things they’d asked for from the city. By the time we got back, I was exhausted. I didn’t mean to fall asleep.”

  She dropped her head to his shoulder. “All this time I’ve been worried that you didn’t see me as a woman because you didn’t make love to me that night.”

  “I’m so sorry. After that you stopped trying to get close to me so I didn’t think you were interested anymore, and I didn’t want to feel like I was forcing you.”

  She laughed softly. “So we’ve both been tiptoeing around each other, wanting to make love, but afraid to say anything about it? Let’s not be afraid anymore, Thomas. Let’s make love when we want to.”

  Thomas hugged her closer to him. “Oh, I want to.”

  She grinned against his shoulder, her eyelids drooping. “Good. Keep that attitude.”

  He kissed the top of her head before closing his eyes. Being married to a beautiful pregnant woman wasn’t a hardship after all.

  Chapter Eight

  When Esther woke the following morning it was still dark out. At first she couldn’t figure out what had awakened her, but then she felt Thomas’s tongue against her neck. “Have I mentioned you’re beautiful in the mornings?”

  She laughed. “I’m not beautiful. I’m round. I’m very round.”

  He grinned. “You’re getting round, there’s no doubt, but still, you’re beautiful in every way.”

  She smiled and stroked his hair away from his face, noting how long it had gotten. “It’s time for me to cut your hair.”

  “It was time a long time ago, but with the harvest and replanting, there just hasn’t been time.” He snuggled closer against her, pulling her body fully against his.

  “There’s time today. I’ll cut it after breakfast.”

  He smiled. “I’d like that.” He loved the idea of her fingers in his hair as she cut off the excess length. Any way she touched him brought him peace. Well, any way she touched him brought him pleasure. There were some ways that didn’t bring him any peace at all.

  “I love just lying in bed with you in the morning. It’s my favorite time of day.”

  “Really? I never realized.” He stroked his hand down her arm and glared out the window where the su
n was starting to rise. “I wish we could just spend the whole day in bed together.”

  She smiled. “I’d like that, too, but the cows aren’t going to milk themselves. And no one would cook for us if we decided to be lazy all day.”

  He laughed. “I wasn’t thinking about being lazy at all.” His hand stroked up and down her arm, and he pulled her against him, pressing his lips to hers. After a moment he groaned and rolled to his back. “The cows won’t milk themselves. Someday, someone is going to invent a machine to milk cows, and then I won’t have to go through this every morning.”

  She laughed. “That would be something, wouldn’t it?” She stood with her back to him and pulled on her dress, running a brush through her hair before pinning it on top of her head. She felt a little bubble of joy inside her, knowing that her husband cared about her. Maybe he didn’t love her yet, but she felt certain that he would someday.

  She rushed down the stairs and started a fire in the stove, ready to fix breakfast for the man she… loved? Was that right? How could she love a man she’d only known for a few months? She’d only married him to avoid a bad situation at home. It couldn’t be real love. Could it?

  She mixed the scrambled eggs with more vigor than usual flinging a bit of yolk across the kitchen. How could she love Thomas when she was still in love with Charlie? And if she did love Thomas, did that mean she was betraying Charlie? Thomas had been a good husband to her, and she was certain he’d be a good father to the baby she carried, but did that mean…well, what did it mean?

  She sank down on a chair and slowly finished beating the eggs. Did she need to analyze things so much? Sure, she still loved Charlie. She’d always love him. They’d shared their first kiss under the tree in the schoolyard. He was the first man to ever hold her hand. She’d never forget the look on his face when he’d dropped to one knee in her father’s farmyard and offered her a ring. How could she stop loving Charlie?

  But Thomas, he was as different from Charlie as night from day. Charlie had been muscular with blond hair and blue eyes. Charlie had been slightly cocky, so sure of himself it had always made Esther a bit crazy. Thomas was just the opposite. He was shy and sweet. He would never assume anything about anyone. He treated Esther as if she were made of glass, at least he had until last night.

  Esther blushed as she remembered the passion she’d shared with Thomas. He’d been so eager to make love with her, but he’d been gentle and loving at the same time. Charlie had never been afraid to push her over and pounce on her in a way that she knew Thomas probably never would.

  How could one woman love two men who were such total opposites? Did she have the same kind of love for Thomas that she’d had for Charlie? Or did her love stem from the fact that he was so good to her, helping her in every way? Did she love him for what he did instead of who he was?

  She poured the eggs into the pan and tried to bring Charlie’s face into her mind. She could still see him, but his features weren’t as sharp. Had she only loved Charlie because he was handsome? No, that wasn’t the case at all. She’d loved him for him, but still. How could she love another man so soon after his death?

  When Thomas came in from milking, he sat at the table like he always did, and when Esther turned to look at him she smiled automatically. Had he gotten better looking overnight? Or was she seeing him through love? She didn’t know which it was, but he was definitely more attractive to her.

  She put his plate on the table in front of him, and on impulse leaned down to kiss his cheek. He grinned up at her. “What was that for?”

  She shrugged, embarrassed. “Your cheek just looked lonely.” She walked around the table and took her place across from him.

  He smiled and took her hand in his, bowing his head for their morning prayer. When he’d said “amen” he looked up, still holding her hand and began eating. She took a bite of her toast, unable to take her eyes off him.

  “I’m going to work on the cradle today. I have a bit of stain left from when I made the rocking chairs. Do you want the cradle stained or natural wood? Or I have some white paint I could use as well?”

  She tilted her head to the side for a moment, considering. “I’d like it to be white if it’s not too much trouble.”

  He shook his head. “It’s no trouble at all.” He forked up a bite of eggs, his eyes staring into hers. “Thank you for last night.”

  She blushed. “I enjoyed it, too.” She looked down at her plate, unsure what to say to him beyond that.

  He brought the hand he still held to his lips. “I hope that means you’ll be ready for a break at lunchtime to take a nap.”

  She laughed, her eyes meeting his. “I don’t know. I have to do laundry today, and it’s a terribly interesting chore.”

  “I’ll have to do my best to persuade you then.”

  After breakfast, he headed out to the barn to work on building the cradle. She had the clean wash on the clothesline and fresh bread baked by the time he came in for lunch. She glanced over her shoulder as she finished frying up bacon for sandwiches. “How’s the cradle coming along?”

  “Good. I think it’s going to be the best cradle I’ve ever built.”

  Her eyes lit up. “That’s wonderful! How many have you built?” She put his plate in front of him and sat down.

  “Just this one.”

  She sighed. “You really do think you’re funny, don’t you?”

  He winked at her before bowing his head for their prayer. “After lunch, I’ll take you out to see it if you’d like.”

  “I’d like that a lot. Well, if it’s more than just a few pieces of wood I would like it. Is it just a pile of wood?”

  He shrugged. “It’s a pile of wood that’s cut to the specifications needed for a cradle. I’ll put it all together this afternoon.”

  “So if I go out to the barn with you after lunch, I’m just going to see a pile of wood pieces?”

  He nodded. “Pretty much.”

  She shook her head. “What’s gotten into you today? You’re like a different person.”

  He grinned. “I’m happy. The future is looking up. I just planted my second wheat crop of the year, and my wife likes it when I touch her. Life is good.”

  She laughed. “Your wife has always liked it when you touched her. You just wouldn’t do it.”

  He put the last bite of his second sandwich in his mouth, stood up and grabbed her hand, dragging her toward the stairs. “Really? I promise, I’ll never stop now!”

  She giggled all the way up the stairs. She stopped giggling when he started undressing her. “We can’t do this in the middle of the day!” She swatted his hands away with embarrassment.

  He laughed. “We live in the middle of nowhere. All of our friends are working on their crops. What’s to stop us?”

  He had her undressed and under him on the bed before she could figure out how to protest. Once he’d started kissing her, she had no desire to protest.

  *****

  Esther was taking the clothes off the line just before dinner time when a man on horseback rode up to the house. She shielded her eyes against the bright afternoon sunshine to see who it was. Samuel. She blushed, thinking how glad she was he hadn’t ridden up a few hours before.

  Thomas came out of the barn and went to greet his brother, who handed him something, waved at Esther, and rode off.

  Thomas spent a moment staring at the paper and walked to her, his face revealing nothing. “Telegram for you.”

  Esther held out her hand. He put the telegram into it and she read it, her face lighting up with excitement. “I will be arriving on the noon train in Lindsborg on October first stop I would love to be able to see you stop I will stay for two days stop Please meet me stop.” Esther’s eyes danced as they met Thomas’s. “Can she stay here? Please?”

  Thomas agreed immediately. “I’d like to meet your friend.” He made a face, thinking about the date. “The first is tomorrow. I wish she’d given us more notice.”

  Esther looked
at the date on the telegram. “The telegram was dated September eighteenth. No one has been to town because of planting.”

  He nodded. “You’re right. We’ll drive into town tomorrow morning to be there when she arrives.”

  Esther threw her arms around Thomas and hugged him tightly. “I can make the drive myself if I need to.” She didn’t want to drive that far by herself, but she would to see her friend. She knew Thomas had a lot to do with the crops just planted.

  He shook his head. “I’m not letting my very pregnant wife drive three hours each way through the wilderness alone.” He thought for a moment. “Samuel went into town today, so there’s no need to ask the others if they need anything. Do you want to eat at the restaurant while we’re in town?”

  She shook her head automatically. “I’ll make some fried chicken and we can have a picnic on the way home.” She rushed toward the house. “Do you mind butchering one of the chickens for me?”

  “Not at all.”

  She hurried to the stove to cook dinner. She wanted to make a cake to serve the following night for her friend, and knew she needed to start the chicken tonight if she was going to get it done before they left. She made a simple meal of sandwiches again so she could start the cake. When Thomas came in and saw what she’d fixed, he grinned.

  “Looks like I’ll get good dinners for a couple of days while your friend is here.”

  She turned to him and waved a spoon covered with cake batter at him. “You’ll eat what I fix. I cook good meals for you every night. You can put up with sandwiches one night.”

  He sighed. “But I get sandwiches for lunch every day.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “Are you ready to go back to cooking for yourself?”

  “No, ma’am. I’m grateful for the sandwich, ma’am.”

  She laughed as she poured the batter into a pan and put it into the oven then rushed to sit across from him. “I need to change the sheets in the nursery.”

  He made a face. “Didn’t you change them after MaryAnn stayed with us?”