Mail Order Maternity (Brides of Beckham) Page 10

The trip went much faster than her first trip out to the homestead and she was thankful for that. When they arrived, she immediately began preparations for supper. When Thomas brought their supplies into the house, she looked at him. “Do we need to deliver the goods to the others today? Or will we wait?”

  He shook his head. “I’d like to do it after supper if you feel up to it. I don’t want to have to unload the wagon and then reload it tomorrow morning.”

  She nodded. “Okay.” She’d planned to make pancakes for supper because they were quick and easy, but instead switched to bacon sandwiches which were even quicker. She didn’t want to be caught out on the road after dark living in such an uncivilized area.

  Once the meal was over, she followed him out to the wagon. “Are you sure you feel up to going?” he asked. He searched her face for any sign of tiredness.

  She sighed. “Please don’t start that again. I know the doctor told you I was the picture of health.”

  He smiled and helped her into the buggy. “He did.” He thought about the other thing the doctor had told him as well. Knowing that women were more accepting of their husband’s advances during their pregnancy made him smile. He’d test the doctor’s theory once they were home that night.

  It was full dark by the time they pulled into the yard that night. Everyone had been thankful for their deliveries and every single woman had invited her in for tea and cookies. After the second house, she started smiling politely and shaking her head. Even with the extra hunger pregnancy brought on she couldn’t eat that many cookies!

  It had been nice seeing the other women’s homes. Samuel and Victoria lived in the largest house by far. The main part of the house was wood, but they’d had to use sod to add on over the years. It had given the house a very unique look.

  The other two houses were made from sod only. Esther was thankful for the wood house she lived in. She would have been thankful to have a sod roof over her head if it were the only option, but the wooden house felt far cleaner than the sod would have. She’d have had no idea how to clean a sod house.

  She was yawning when she walked into the house to ready herself for bed while Thomas unhitched the team and put them in their stalls for the night. They’d had a busy day. She rushed to change into her nightgown and climbed into bed. She was excited that Thomas would be willing to touch her again. It had seemed so strange to her that he was lying beside her in bed every night, but refusing to touch her, because he was afraid he may hurt her. She didn’t want their relationship to hinge solely on sexual relations, but she knew they were important for their marriage to succeed.

  When she finally heard Thomas’s footsteps on the stairs, her heart started beating a little faster. She needed to feel like she was loved and wanted by him. He opened the door slowly and stripped silently. Once he was settled on his pillow beside her, she rolled to him resting her head on his shoulder.

  His arms went around her and he stroked her back affectionately. After a moment he closed his eyes and fell asleep. She stared at him startled. What had just happened? They finally had permission from the doctor to make love and he fell asleep?

  She rolled to her side facing away from him and squeezed her eyes shut. She’d never felt so rejected in her life. What was wrong with her that her own husband wasn’t interested in her?

  *****

  Thomas woke early the following morning and saw his beautiful wife’s head on the pillow beside his in the predawn light. He blinked a couple of times in surprise. Had he really fallen asleep without making love to her? He must have, and now he wanted to kick himself for it. She’d made it clear that she was willing and he’d slept. It had been a long tiring day, but that was no excuse. He’d have to find some way to make it up to her.

  He got up and went down the stairs to milk the cows, frustrated with himself. Would he ever be the kind of husband his beautiful new wife needed?

  Esther woke alone and got out of bed, stumbling down the stairs to fix breakfast. If all her new husband wanted from her was to have a cook and cleaning woman, then she’d be the best cook and cleaning woman he’d ever seen. It certainly wasn’t what she’d expected when she married him, but she’d do what needed to be done.

  She whipped up the batter for French toast, holding the bowl against her stomach. She fried bacon while she waited for him to come in the house, and as soon as he stepped foot inside, without meeting his eyes, she dipped the first pieces of bread. When she’d made a huge platter of toast, she sat down across from him and he prayed for them both. She was surprised to hear him pray for guidance in how to become a better husband. Why did he think he was lacking?

  After breakfast, he kissed her cheek, and she started work on the dishes, having a big day in front of her. She needed to bake fresh bread, and the laundry needed to be done. She usually did the laundry on Mondays, but because they were out it was all piled up and waiting for her. She wasn’t looking forward to the day ahead, but she’d do it all with a smile.

  Today was one of those days she wished she had a friend close by she could talk to. She wished there was way to talk to Harriett and get an immediate answer, but she knew that was just a dream. If she hurried through her work, though, she might have time to write her friend a lengthy letter and ask for advice.

  By the time Thomas got home for lunch, all of the dirty clothes were on the line and she was taking the first of the loaves of bread out of the oven. Thomas took his place and she sat across from him at the table. He took her hand for the prayer and she bowed her head. While they ate, he talked about how well the wheat was doing. “I think harvest is going to be early this year.”

  “When is early?” She knew about corn farming, but nothing at all about wheat farming. She’d heard that many people in the area grew both, but Thomas and his friends only grew wheat.

  “In a week or two. I really have wanted to try to grow winter wheat, but I’ve never harvested in time that I could have the fields ready for September planting. This year, with the early yield, I think I can do it!”

  Esther wrinkled her brow. “You’d grow wheat through the winter?”

  He took a bite of his sandwich. “Most of the farmers in Kansas who grow wheat grow winter wheat. The winter wheat is different, because you plant it in September and then it’s dormant through the winter. Most of the rainfall we get in Kansas is through the winter and spring, which is better for the wheat to grow. So I want to start growing winter wheat.” His eyes danced as he talked about it, which surprised Esther, because he was such a quiet man, she’d rarely seen him get excited about anything.

  “Will that be enough time between crops?”

  He shrugged. “I have no idea, but we’re going to find out! It would be wonderful if we could get two crops in this year. I’ve never done it before, but I’m sure I can do it. I’ve been planting earlier and earlier in the season every year hoping I’d be able to make the switch.”

  She knew the work involved in two crops in a year, but she also knew it would be good for them financially. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

  He shook his head. “You do plenty.” Thomas stood and kissed the top of her head as he ran out the door. She could almost see the dollar signs dancing in his eyes, and she really didn’t blame him. The more money they made this year, the easier things would be as they started their family.

  She worked hard that afternoon, getting the floors scrubbed and finishing up her work early so she could make a special dinner. She felt that she was little more than a cook for Thomas, so if that’s all she could be for him, then she needed to be the best cook he’d ever known.

  She made a cake with whipped cream for frosting before making chicken and dumplings for dinner. Knowing they were his favorite she made them as often as she could.

  As she worked she thought about the situation and had decided she’d make no more advances toward her husband. If he was interested in having relations with her, he knew where she slept. She wasn’t going to be rejected again.
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br />   *****

  Thomas hurried toward the house at the end of the day. He was running a little later than usual and knew that Esther would worry if he wasn’t on time. He’d put in a long day, but he was excited to be able to spend time with his wife. If she hadn’t been there he knew he wouldn’t be in a hurry to go home. He thanked God for her every day.

  Rushing into the house, he found her putting dinner on the table. His mouth watered from the smells coming from the kitchen. “Dinner smells wonderful!” He rushed to the basin to wash his hands.

  “I hope you’re hungry, because I made a lot.”

  He looked down at the chicken and dumplings in the bowl she placed in front of him. “Did you kill the pullet yourself?”

  She nodded, not looking at him. She’d wanted to surprise him with his favorite meal, and the only way she could was by taking care of the chicken herself. Her mother had done it all the time, so she’d watched, and it wasn’t very hard.

  She put a plate of fresh bread and butter on the table and sat down across from him. “I wanted to surprise you with your favorite meal.”

  His eyes met hers and he grinned, taking her hand in his. “Thank you. I want you to know how much I appreciate the little things you do for me. You really are a good wife.”

  She nodded, filling up with sadness. She may be good at some of the parts of being a wife, but obviously she wasn’t good at all of them. “You’re welcome.”

  If he noted the sadness on her face, he didn’t say anything about it. Instead he bowed his head and prayed, thanking God for their meal. He ate four full bowls of the chicken and dumplings and sat back patting his belly when he was done. “That was wonderful.”

  She stood and pulled the cake from the counter where she’d had it resting under a bowl so he wouldn’t see it. It was a chocolate cake with whipped cream for frosting, and although she’d never used whipped cream for frosting, her mother had told her it was a great alternative when you didn’t have enough sugar. She sliced the cake and took him a piece, grabbing a small one for herself.

  He stared at the cake for a minute with wide eyes and his face lit up with a smile. “You’re going to spoil me.”

  She smiled. “I think women should spoil their husbands.”

  He picked up his fork and took a bite, closing his eyes as the sweetness of the cake exploded on his tongue. “This is really good.”

  She watched him eat a couple more bites before cutting into her own piece. She was surprised at how appreciative he was of everything she did and how much she enjoyed doing special things for him. “I’m glad you like it.”

  While she did the dishes, he sat at the table scribbling away at a piece of paper. “What are you doing?” she asked as she put away the last dry dish.

  “I’m making myself a schedule for harvest and replanting time. I’ll have to be fast and efficient if I’m going to make the winter wheat work this year. If I harvest in early August, I only have until the beginning of September to prepare the fields. And I’ll need to get the winter wheat seed.” He tapped the pencil on the side of the table. “I really do think I can make the transition this year.”

  She stifled a yawn, but sat down across from him. “Will the neighbors help?”

  He shook his head. “They’re all doing the same thing I am. We talked about it on Sunday, and all of us feel like this is the year to do it. We had an early spring, so the crops were in the ground early, and they’re strong healthy crops that grew quickly because of the added rainfall this year.”

  “I’ll help however I can.”

  “You’ll help by cooking meals and taking care of our baby.” He sighed and pushed the paper away. “I can do it, but just barely. I have one dormant field that I’ll start readying tomorrow.”

  “Why did you leave a field dormant?” She’d never heard of a farmer doing such a thing.

  “I decided in the spring that I’d do at least that small field with the winter wheat this year. I was hoping to do them all, but I figured if I couldn’t, at least the one field would be a good trial run.” He smiled and stretched. “I hope you’re ready for a hectic month or two.”

  She shrugged. “I’m a farmer’s wife. Harvest and planting are the most important times of year.” She stood up. “I’m going up to get ready for bed. I’m tired.”

  He watched her go up the stairs and decided he’d give her five minutes before he followed. He was looking forward to going to bed with his wife. He watched the clock and when he felt like he’d given her enough time, he climbed the stairs after her. He pushed open the bedroom door and saw her curled up on her side facing away from the middle of the bed. He blew out the lantern and stripped in the dark, joining her between the sheets.

  She didn’t turn toward him as she usually did, so he wasn’t sure what to do. Was she asleep? Was she no longer interested in his attentions? He lay there for a moment staring at her silhouette in the darkness before rolling to his back with a heavy sigh. If she didn’t want him touching her, he could certainly understand that.

  He lay in the dark staring at the ceiling for a while before he fell asleep. Had he ruined his chances for a normal marriage with his fears?

  *****

  Esther lay in the dark staring at the wall, wishing Thomas would reach out a hand to touch her, but not willing to turn to him for fear of rejection. Why would he want to touch a woman who was carrying another man’s baby anyway? She’d made a mess of things, she knew, and she wished she knew how to fix it. Maybe after the baby was born he’d want to touch her again.

  A single tear dripped off the side of her nose and onto the pillow, the only visible sign of how alone she felt.

  *****

  That day set a routine for the days to come. Thomas worked later and later every night trying to get ready for the harvest and replanting. Doing both so close together was risky, but he was certain he was going to be able to make it work. Esther spent every day cooking, cleaning and sewing tiny little things for the new baby. She cut the flannel she’d purchased to make diapers and made another quilt.

  The harvest brought a much higher rate than was expected, and Thomas bought the wood for a cradle, and Esther was able to purchase more fabric to make curtains and a matching tablecloth. She was excited to be able to put her own mark on the house, feeling more like it was her home by doing so.

  Thomas and the other three men in their congregation took turns when it was time for planting. They went to Samuel’s farm first and the four of them worked together from sun-up to sun-down for three days to get the planting done. The women spent the day together working to fix their meals, and they helped Victoria with the fall cleaning while they were there.

  They moved through the four houses of the church members and got everything done as quickly and efficiently as they could. Thomas and Esther’s farm came last, and Esther enjoyed playing hostess to all the others. She’d done her fall cleaning early so that the tired women would be able to sit and sew together instead of doing all the work of cleaning another house.

  “You shouldn’t have done it without us,” Victoria protested when she realized what her sister-in-law had done.

  Esther shrugged. “I wanted us to be able to enjoy our time, and it’s more fun to sew tiny clothes for a baby than it is to clean house.”

  The other women laughed at her reasoning, but they happily settled down at the table with their needles and thread, and hemmed diapers and made tiny little outfits.

  The older boys all helped to plant, and the older girls watched the younger children so the women could work together. It was a system that the group had perfected over their years of living together and it worked well.

  Once the planting was done, they were all exhausted. Esther worried about Thomas, because he looked so drawn, but he was smiling from ear to ear, thrilled to have finally made the switch to winter wheat. Esther rubbed his shoulders for him. “Do you think the switch will work well for us?”

  “Absolutely. Most farmers in the cou
ntry have fresh wheat in the fall, not the spring. We’ll be harvesting when the wheat is needed the most. It should mean more money in our pockets.”

  Esther smiled down at him, thrilled by his excitement. “I’m glad you were finally able to do it this year.”

  “Now instead of working on growing in the summer, I’ll be working on preparing the fields for the next crop. I am a little worried about low yield this year, because of growing two crops so close together.”

  Esther finished rubbing his shoulders and stepped back. She knew her belly had been pressing into his back while she’d rubbed them and that made her uncomfortable, but she was getting so big it was hard to prevent. “Is that better?”

  He nodded, turning to take her hand in his. “Thank you.”

  Esther still wasn’t quite sure where she stood with her husband. He was gentle and loving, but he never made any type of moves toward having an active sex life with her. It was as if he was content to just hold hands and kiss her on occasion. She wasn’t sure if she was pleased that he was giving her time to adjust to him or going insane because she wanted more from her marriage than he was giving her.

  “It was my pleasure.” And it had been. She enjoyed touching her husband, and digging her fingers into his muscled shoulders hadn’t been a hardship for her.

  He used the hand he was holding to pull her onto his lap and he rested his head on her shoulder. “I’m going to start building the cradle tomorrow. It should only take a day or two.”

  She looked at him startled. “We’re not in a hurry. Why don’t you wait until the crop is dormant for the winter, and then we’ll worry about the cradle?”

  He shook his head. “I want to make sure it’s done in good time.”

  “I’m not going to complain if you make it early,” she told him with a grin. “But I’m not worried about it not being done in time. I have another 4 months to go.”

  “It sounds like a long time, but it’ll be here before we know it. I can’t wait to hold him.”